San Antonio? More like San An-boring-o

Have you been to San Antonio lately?  No?  Well don’t bother.  Ashley and I went there this past weekend for a little pre-baby getaway.  Now usually I’m a vacation planner but this time I decided to wing it.  Besides, it’s San Antonio, there’s tons of things to do, right?  The Alamo, the riverwalk, umm…  apparently that’s about it.  Oh wait, they have a lot, a LOT of Mexican restaurants.

We got there on Friday and picked up our rental car, an electric blue PT Cruiser.  (if you own a PT Cruiser skip to the next paragraph).  This has to be by far the worst car I’ve ever driven.  No acceleration, no features, no fun.

But it’s just a rental car, no biggie.  So I floored and eventually got it up to highway speed and we were off to Gruene.  I know, we’re supposed to be going to San Antonio but Ashley and I have started a vacation tradition of taking a mini vacation within a vacation.  A couple of years ago we went to Tahoe and decided to go to San Francisco and Napa Valley in the middle of that vacation.  It usually turns out to be the best part of the vacation.  This time was no exception.  We got to Gruene, went to eat at the Gristmill and walked around to all the little shops.  It was a great day and we had great food and a great time.

Now on to San Antonio!  We get to our hotel room and it’s great.  I highly recommend the new Hyatt Place chain.  We had a nice bed, a separate living room area and a huge HD flat screen TV.  But no time for TV!  Let’s hit the riverwalk!  There will be tons of things to do and awesome places to eat and good times to be had!  Or so I thought.  After this trip I’ve decided that San Antonio is a place for one of two kinds of people.  You’re either, in college and want to be drunk alot, or you’re from a town smaller than San Antonio and you think fine dining is the Hard Rock.  Yes, we ate at Hard Rock.  You know why?  Because it was either that or the third Mexican restaurant in two days.  Let me give you a breakdown of what we ate.  Burgers, mexican, breakfast, mexican, Italian (which had mariachi band?), breakfast, burgers and finally Pei Wei.  Yes, Pei Wei.

Dont’ get me wrong, we had good food, but part of the fun of vacation is going to new places and eating new food and all this city had to offer me was either Linguine while listening to De Colores or eating chinese food that I can have any day of the week?  Oh well, at least we avoided Dick’s Last Resort.

Now let me tell you a little story about…The Alamo.  “Remember the Alamo!”  You know why they say that?  Because it’s so boring you forget about the Alamo about 10 minutes after you leave.  Seriously, what’s the big deal?  I’ve been told I don’t understand it because I’m a damn Okie but I honestly don’t get it.  The first time we tried to go there was a crazy long line so we decided to go back the next day.  Next day rolls around and we walk straight in, to an old empty building with a couple of flags in it and…that’s about it.  Even Ashley, a life long Texan, didn’t see what was so special about it.  I know, it’s a big part of Texas history and brave people died there so I understand that part, I just don’t want to go back.  And the part I can’t get over is that they lost the battle at the Alamo.  Why don’t we hold the other places where we actually won in as high regard as the Alamo.  It’s even named after a city in Mexico!  I know some of you think I’m just a dumb outsider who doesn’t get it and you’re right.  I don’t get it.  But I’m sure there’s something about Oklahoma that I love that you would probably think is idiotic.  So let’s call it even.

Long story short (too late)  we had a great time.  But the reason we had a great time was because we were together and we can’t help but have a good time.  I love my boo and it doesn’t matter if I’m in a mexican restaurant, a boring old mission, or sitting in a hotel room watching a nice big TV.  So our next trip will be…anywhere else.  And it WON’T involve us going to a time share seminar.  But that story is for another blog post.


10 responses to “San Antonio? More like San An-boring-o

  1. A. Thank God for a new post!
    B. Should be called – San A-boo-io! 🙂
    C. That is why you come to Austin not San A-boo-io. San A-boo-io is good for a night – meaning one meal – that is about it. And once you have been there – you have been there.
    PS – the Alamo is cool from the outside , but I have not been inside in like over 20 years – unless you cout watching Pee Wee’s big adventure

  2. You forgot to mention how big my feet got!

  3. Wait until that little bump of yours is about 3. He’ll love the boat ride, the river, Sea World and they have a great childrens museum. When we were there a couple of months ago we didn’t even drive by The Alamo.

  4. Yep, San Antonio is bulls**t. I live here now and I _ABSOLUTELY_ hate it. Trying to move out but kind of stuck. The night life SUCKS! You might find a couple of people kind of wondering around a club or bar but nothing like Austin, TX. Besides staring at the damn (I have come to hate it) Alamo or walking near a filthy, stinky river that runs down the middle of the ghetto, sorry excuse of a downtown, there is nothing to do here. Go bowling, maybe? Go see a movie maybe? There is Sea World and Six Flags if you have a ton of cash that you feel like wasting (the lines get up to 2 hours long sometimes). Definitely not a lack of people at those parks (since it’s the only thing to do here that doesn’t suck) but that kind of ruins it at the same time. Still fun if you don’t like anything that might have a line. Cool shows anyway.

    My suggestion if you want to have fun in San Antonio:……. go to Austin. That is where it’s really at. Almost anywhere you go on the weekends in “bumpin!” Not to mention awesome state parks, all kinds of activities and scenic city trails + bike rentals, big awesome river with rentals (kayak, stand-up boards, water bikes, etc). It’s awesome! Not to mention AWESOME food! Food in San Antonio: almost 100% Mexican food. The only food I can’t stand, fml -_-

    Wow I sound like a miserable person on here but I’m seriously the oposite. Just spend all of my free-time with friends outside of San Antonio, ha.

  5. Just moved to San Antonio for employment after college and my first goal while there is to GET OUT. For god’s sake this redneck filled village is boring as it can get. I can care less about their retarded SPURS PRIDE and trucks. People there are extremely unfriendly, dumb, and obese. Good luck finding anyone under 25 that hasn’t moved out yet.

  6. I cannot stand living in SA, but to be fair, it has come a long way with the Pearl Brewery and Southtown. I’d suggest you come back and give it a try. A lot of people seem to love it here, but not me. I’m all for giving places 2nd or even 3rd chances, but I’ve been here long enough.

  7. San Antonio has changed *a lot* in the years since this blog and most of the replies were written:
    “A Surprise Texas City Is Named the Second Best Travel Destination in the World: Who’s Boring Now?”

    And San Antonio now has many of the thing that others have praised about Austin: an extensive trail network (, bike rentals (, and a nationally recognized growing foodie scene ( As a result, it’s the fastest growing city now for Millennials ( There are even plans to improve the Alamo experience ( and the San Antonio Missions (including the Alamo) were recently named a World Heritage Site (

  8. Get Me Out!!!

    Yep. Good ole Snooze Antonio. Nothing exciting but the Spurs… and sadly, sometimes not even that.

  9. im laughing because this is so true, and i lived here my whole life -_- my ultimate goal is to escape this place. unless you’re a redneck cowboy, this isn’t the best place for anyone who…well anyone who isn’t in retirement or raising a family, omg don’t come here

  10. I have to second the emotion, I lived in S.A. for a long while. I’ve had issues with the aura of the city since 1981 or 82 (when I was about 8). It’s a decent place to raise a family if your on a tight budget, although, if you’re not rooted from in and or around Bexar County it’s difficult to find common ground with its natural inhabitants. I prefer hanging out with the plants and animals these day’s but have to maneuver through some characters, as I’m sure some people may do the same in return. I’ve noticed people moving here from other countries, mainly Mexico and other states who choose this place within their budget. It does have its perks but with capitol, in order, to enjoy its night life, which is above average for its uniqueness and quietly romantic charm. This city is decent, I’ve grown to love it, although, would like to live outside of Texas for a while before I purchase a plot here. I haven’t figured it out completely but if you’re into Southwestern lifestyle with rustic sunrises and sunsets; Americana music, in all musical directions, mainly accordion based, but encompasses Blues, Jazz, Rock and of course Country, this place is for you. This is not a mainstream American city in terms of culturally influenced. The cradle of South-Texas and perhaps most of the state is Mexico not Washington D.C. or the rest of the American West but the city has adapted well in acquiring facets from many places throughout.

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