You’re the best and the coolest. I’m the worst and the dumbest. You are like fresh air. I am like car exhaust. You are a cuddly puppy. I’m the lizard fish from the tsunami. You are a fresh spring rain. I am a hail storm. You are sunshine and roses. I am fog and stink blossoms. You are a first kiss. I am a divorce after 25 years. You are an unexpected gift. I am an overdue bill. You are the last day of school. I am the first day of summer school for kids who can’t read. You are a picnic in the park. I am a visit to the proctologist. You are a fine wine. I am three month old buttermilk. You are Burt’s Bees. I am Charlie’s Crap Gloss. You are a new 4Runner. I am an rusted Hyundai. You are the apple of my eye. I am the burning sensation that won’t go away. You are the fountain of youth. I am the grim reaper. You are a three course meal. I am a crappy ham sandwich without mustard. You are loved by all. I am despised by most. You have great friends. I have evil enemies. You are a great movie. I am a public service announcement. You are a classic book. I’m a dime store detective novel. You are Halloween. I am flag day. You can lift very heavy objects. I have the muscles of a 10 year old girl. You are very wise. I’m a dunce. You are happy and fun loving. I’m in a glass cube of emotion. You smell like fresh roses and lavender. I reek of meat and cheese.
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